Perfection Personified

So, last night was amazing.
I feel like I got drunk on GD last night and am nursing a hangover today. A really good hangover. I cannot stop thinking about him and my heart continues to ache for him.
He was so beautiful and charismatic.
He looked so fashionable in everything he adorned.
Every dance move, every flick of his hair, every finger lifted was just oozing with manliness.
His songs were like lyrical whirlpools that sucked me in and drowned me in the sea of his melodious dulcet tones.
He spoke to his audience only very briefly, in English. And though his pronunciation carried a strong Korean twang that was difficult to decipher at times, you cannot help but love him more, simply because he tried.

Admittedly, the sound system wasn’t the most impressive and at times I struggled to figure out if I was hearing him sing live or if it was the back-up track.
Admittedly, it was too crowded in the standing zone with everyone pushing forward and that felt uncomfortable.
Admittedly, my feet were hella sore from 4 hours of being on my feet.
But despite all these, it was all worth it.
GD was perfect.

It was so good to be able to see him up close. For 2 hrs, this man of my dreams was real- standing right in front of me, breathing the same air I breathed.
I melted when I finally saw that gorgeous breath-snatching smile for the first time in real life- the magical smile that has powers to push the corners of my own lips upward.
He was mesmerising. I could not take my eyes off him. I could not even bear to look away for a second- not to watch his backup dancers twirling around beside him, not to even glance at the band members he was introducing, and certainly not to look at my camera’s view finder as I struggled to capture every blessed moment of him standing right before my eyes. My gaze was completely and utterly fixed onto him- my GD.

I am besotted.

However, despite all that perceived perfection, I got a strong feeling that he was sad. I could not see any fire in his eyes. He sang song after song according to the plan… but I found him wanting. Wanting of soul and passion and of joy. At times, it seemed as though he was just going through the motions. Other times, he would cover his eyes with his hand or hat or even bury his head in his arm to avoid eye contact. The melancholy that he always seems to be shrouded in was even more obvious in real life. It felt as if this stunningly successful young man was secretly but seriously hurting on the inside. My heart went out to him when I saw tears welling up in his eyes, and I just wanted to pull him closer into a sweet embrace.

Tonight, GD plays his gig in London. I, on the other hand am leaving Birmingham to go home back up north. I miss him dearly already.

Ji Yong, please stay safe in the army and come back soon after your 2 years of military service. In the meantime, I will work hard on learning Korean and losing weight to become the best version of myself… Hopefully, I will see you again then, and you will see me too.


Waiting for GD

It is the 23rd of September!

After waiting for months, I am finally here in Birmingham waiting to go and see Ji Yong at his concert.

I have been beside myself with excitement this past week whilst on nights… I could not help but keep talking about going to his concert to my SHO (poor girl, she had to put up with me and my never ending nonsensical rants).

It really has been a while since I have felt this kind of excitement. This kind of looking forward to something. This kind of feeling breathless and queasy with anticipation. Life has been so mundane and routine for so long that this feeling of exhilarating excitement has been a real breath of fresh air. It makes me feel alive again! Truth to be told, I feel as though I am waiting to go on a date- something that I have desired for so long but have never experienced. Now, I can’t wait to see this beautiful man! I really hope that GD’s gig doesn’t let me down tonight. I want him to sing to me, to make me dance, to charm me and to take my breath away.




This made me wonder…

Do I look forward to Jesus the same way? Am I feeling sweaty with palpitations anticipating the arrival of my beautiful bridegroom Jesus? If I claim to love Christ so much then why am I not talking about him animatedly to everyone around me, whether or not they seem interested in hearing about it?

As I am waiting for GD, do not forget that I am ultimately waiting for GOD.

권지용씨 서른살 생일 축하해요!

This smile absolutely makes me weak in the knees. I love it when he looks so genuinely happy. Whilst he looks undeniably suave in his sombre-faced pictures, there always seems to be a deeply hidden and unspoken sadness in his eyes… a dispiritedness that makes me feel sorry for him. On the other hand, I love it when he smiles like this, this smile lights up the room, and the tinge of melancholy that seems married to him instantly dissipates. This charming boyishness bowls me over again and again.

30 Korean years old. Have a wonderful birthday GD. In the new year, I hope you give up your vices. I pray you know true joy.

Can’t wait to see you at your M.O.T.T.E concert in September!

Successful advertising

This, my friends, is what I call good advertising. You find a celebrity that MANY people love and you plaster a very good looking photo of said celebrity on your product.

When I saw GD on this bottled drink, I knew I had to get it. I did not even really know what drink it was. I just knew that I had to buy it. What amazing power of celebrity eh?

G-Dragon is a genius

After having my heart broken by Lee Hom 2 years ago, I have finally found someone else to love again. These celebrity crushes may seem really childish for someone aged 30, but for someone who is single AF like I am, they make me so giddy happy (though sad at the same time- because they are unreal).

Anyway, my latest love is a man named 권지용 . I know he’s been in the industry for ages and been hugely popular for the longest time, but I’ve never invested any time or effort into looking him up until this last week. Now, I am hooked.

This man is so beautiful and talented. His smile melts my heart. His fashion sense is on point. His work ethic inspires me.

Granted, he is not someone who falls into the category of “my type.” I usually fall for tall muscly chaps who are hugely intelligent and generally “good boys.” GD on the other hand seems to be the polar opposite to these men that I usually find attractive. I don’t know, there just seems to be some kind of magic emanating from him that draws me deeper and deeper into an uncontrolled fascination and infatuation.

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