Single, Christian, Man

When I was younger, I used to fantasise about the kind of man I would love to get married to. I had a whole list of requirements for eligibility. Smart, funny, romantic, Christian, tall, muscular, chiselled face… the list goes on.

But what do I desire in my future partner these days? Only 3 simple prerequisites: Single, Christian, Man.

Oh how greatly the list has been simplified! Yet, it still seems so ridiculously hard to find someone who meets all 3 requirements. The single men all seem to be non-Christians. The Christian men are all in relationships or married. The single Christians I know of are mostly women. Where are all the single, Christian men?

I’ve been feeling a little needy recently. As the friends around me all seem to be starting relationships or getting married and having children, I am beginning to feel left out and lonely.

How nice it would be to have someone come and pick me up/ walk me home after a long day on call. How nice it would be to come home from work to a lovely man who has just made my dinner. How nice it would be to have a companion during mealtimes or to go out to the movies with. How nice it would be to have someone fuss over me when I am feeling under the weather. How nice it would be to have a comforting shoulder to cry on. How nice it would be to have a man I love in my life.

God made mankind to be relational creatures, reflecting the way the holy trinity are in a perfect relationship with one another. As a human, I have been hard-wired to desire intimacy and relationship. Nevertheless, I need to be reminded daily that I should be desiring a relationship with God, not man. God alone is good enough for me. God’s love truly satisfies. God’s love will never hurt me, it will never let me down.

I am acutely aware that feeling in need of affection puts me in a relatively dangerous place when it comes to temptation. What if a gorgeous, romantic and considerate non-Christian man comes along? I know how I should choose, yet I am not confident that I can bring myself to make the correct choice. It would be so immensely difficult to say no. So dear Lord, I pray “lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” (Matthew 6:13)

God is good enough for me.

偷偷的把心中的思念藏好

今晚,特別的想家。

想念爸爸媽媽還有我的哥哥。

想念我們住的那老舊的四房式組屋。

想念我中學和高中的朋友。

想念我們的嘻嘻哈哈,打打鬧鬧,無話不說。

想念教會里青年團契的兄弟姊妹。

想念我們在一起查經,禱告,唱詩 ,團契。

想念新加坡的美食。

想念新加坡的方便。

想念新加坡的點點滴滴。

我一直都認為新加坡的土地太渺小, 社會太拘束。認為新加坡人過於被動而太沒有想法。認為他們因為養尊處優而變得傲慢並自以為了不起。我認為一直呆在家就會變成个不識人間煙火的井底之蛙。所以,一定要到外走走,見見市面,開礦視野,充實人生。

但在這寂寞的夜晚,獨自一個人在英國的這一个小角落,我想家了。

在外頭自己一個人闖蕩的我,累了。

沒有家人在身旁與我歡喜,陪我擔憂,為我加油打氣, 讓我真的倦了。

遊子的心,誰人能解?

美麗的回憶,也就成了我今晚在精神上的扶木。

偷偷的,我不小心把自己最寶貝的回憶都掏了出來- 為這顆充滿思念的心果腹。

Victor King, I know of someone like you

There is a Korean American guy who exists in Youtube-land called Victor Kim. He breakdances, sings, paints, designs, plays the ukelele, strums the guitar and tickles the ivories on a piano. I came across his most recent video that I found absolutely stunning- a cover of Adele’s “Someone like you”. Now, I’m not normally a fan of covers but this one totally blew me away. I never really liked the song when I heard Adele’s version, but I completely changed my mind after 4 1/2 minutes of Victor’s magic. This is definitely Victor’s best performance yet.

** Are those camera skills awesome or what?

Victor and his music have touched something raw in my heart somehow. I used to (secretly) love a man who was multi-talented like him, who was popular with all the girls like him, who used to serenade me with a voice so tender and alluring like him. A man I dared to love, but lacked the courage to profess it. And the lyrics of this song! Oh the lyrics! The very words that I want to say out loud, yet will never be able to vocalise. Words that I have now carefully hidden at the bottom of my heart. Words that I will sing softly when I am desperately missing him…

I heard that you’re settled down
That you found a girl and you’re married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain’t like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over.

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,”
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over.

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.”

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.”