G-Dragon is a genius

After having my heart broken by Lee Hom 2 years ago, I have finally found someone else to love again. These celebrity crushes may seem really childish for someone aged 30, but for someone who is single AF like I am, they make me so giddy happy (though sad at the same time- because they are unreal).

Anyway, my latest love is a man named 권지용 . I know he’s been in the industry for ages and been hugely popular for the longest time, but I’ve never invested any time or effort into looking him up until this last week. Now, I am hooked.

This man is so beautiful and talented. His smile melts my heart. His fashion sense is on point. His work ethic inspires me.

Granted, he is not someone who falls into the category of “my type.” I usually fall for tall muscly chaps who are hugely intelligent and generally “good boys.” GD on the other hand seems to be the polar opposite to these men that I usually find attractive. I don’t know, there just seems to be some kind of magic emanating from him that draws me deeper and deeper into an uncontrolled fascination and infatuation.

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Thoughts on the drive home from work

I spent about an hour and a half this morning hand ventilating a little baby with a Mapleson F circuit (only 3kg, ex-prem, chronic lung disease, for PDA ligation).

Consequently, I spent an hour and a half breathing in unscavenged waste gases from the circuit with 3% sevoflurane and a fresh gas flow of 6 litres.

I reckon my own end tidal sevoflurane levels were probably about 0.5 by the end of it and I felt incredibly tired as I drove home from work.

Just thinking: If we advise our patients not to operate heavy machinery for 24hrs post GA, perhaps I really shouldn’t be driving after practically giving myself half an anaesthetic?

Mm…

p.s. My right hand has also probably suffered repetitive strain injury from all that bag squeezing… *sigh, occupational health hazards eh?

Pensive on the train back home again

Just dropped my parents and brother off at the airport.
I absolutely hate goodbyes. Whether I am leaving them or being left behind by them, I always end up turning the waterworks on full blast. I find myself reduced into yet another sobbing mess as I bemoan the distance and time that separates us. I love my fam-bam and really wish I can be closer to them. Sure, there are plenty of trying days when we are together- dealing with my bro’s complete nonchalance about virtually everything, my dad’s apparent acopia borne simply out of laziness & forgetfulness, and mother’s fearsome and capricious temperament. There are days of frustration, days of anger, days of tears… But ultimately, I know that my mood gets swayed so much by these three people simply because I love them and care about them too much. Will I be moved by people that I simply do not give two hoots about? I very much doubt so.

When we are together, I feel stronger. I know someone has my back. I know they will be there as extra pairs of hands (as demonstrated by this morning’s extremely efficient packing and house-cleaning), I know they are there to comfort me in my sadness (trying not to remember last August), to advise me in my searching moments, to multiply the joy that bears out of my proudest moments (a la FRCA graduation). I treasure this family and I am ever thankful to God for them.

The last 12 days with them by my side have been tiring but precious. Tiring because I am an interpreter, a tour guide, a driver, a grocery shopper, a time keeper, a bill payer. I am weary because I find myself constantly worrying if they are still hungry, if they need the loo, if they are warm enough, if they are sufficiently rested, if they are too tired or achy as we travel across and even out of the country. I have had many chances to hold my parents’ hands these last 2 weeks. However, the strength of their grip and the weight of their pull on my arm has made me realise how much they have aged, and their increasing dependence on me- this realization makes me sad, and this has been emotionally exhausting.

Nevertheless, these days have been precious. We have gone away and seen some of the most stunning of God’s creations. We have enjoyed each other’s company and have created a multitude of wonderful memories for us to hold on to.

Perhaps being such a family- orientated person is God’s way of telling me that He will ultimately provide me with my own. Perhaps He will one day bless me with a husband and children. After all, He knows how much strength I draw from family, and will hopefully complete me as a person by eventually placing the correct puzzle piece of a man to fit me wonderfully- complete with all my jaunty angles and jutty- outty bits.

I shall not assume that God’s plans are going to necessarily fit mine. Perhaps He knows that my overt attachment to my worldly loved-ones is actually not healthy for me. Perhaps God has decided that keeping me single will spare me the potentially debilitating ache of fretting over, and ultimately losing loved ones in this world that we are simply passing through. Perhaps this is His way of protecting me.

I lift all up to you Lord.

My mum, my dad, my brother.

And my future significant other.

The Lord God made them all

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The Blue Lagoon looking marvellous on a gorgeous spring day
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Stunning mother nature feat. The Atlantic Ocean
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Sólheimajökull glacier
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A view from the side of Seljalandsfoss, decorated with a breath-taking rainbow!
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The Faxi waterfall took my breath away
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Strokkur the hot spring greeted us with some beautiful performances when we went to say hello
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Gullfoss in all its grandeur

As you can tell, I have been away on holiday. I went with my parents and my brother, and safe to say, we had a rollin’ good time. Iceland is home to some of the most magnificent sceneries I have ever seen.

Creation spoke to me through its beauty, showing me how awesome and artistic its creator is. There is no way that volcanoes, waterfalls or oceans could have just “banged” out of nowhere. There must be a God- someone who painted the rainbows in the sky and sculpted those glaciers out of ice.

Yes, there IS a God. This God who breathes life into creation breathes true Life into my living. Lord, I lay my all down to you, for you are worthy to be praised. Hallelujah.

You’re the Word of God the Father,
From before the world began;
Every star and every planet
Has been fashioned by Your hand.
All creation holds together
By the power of Your voice:
Let the skies declare Your glory,
Let the land and seas rejoice!

You’re the Author of creation,
You’re the Lord of every man;
And Your cry of love rings out
Across the lands.