Blown it

There is a guy in church JH whom I have been really wanting to get to know for the last year or so. I never had a chance to go up to him and have a quick chat- no, not even a superficial one. Lately, he started attending the afternoon church services (whilst I continued to go to the morning ones) so the chances of seeing him have been reduced dramatically. We have known of each other for the last 10 years, but never actually had a proper conversation. Why am I interested now? you may ask. Well, because he is a rarity. He is a single, Christian, (pretty good-looking) man- one of the last few that I know of who isn’t 10 years my junior.

Today, I got my chance. We were at a thanksgiving lunch for one of the kids from our church. There was an empty seat next to him, so I asked to join him at the table. We got chatting and it was nice. It was really lovely to see a man who loved Jesus so much. His passion for the Lord translated into real action of going out as a missionary in parts of the world hostile to the gospel. He spoke animatedly about his desire to share the good news of Christ with the people around him. It was evident that God has filled his cup, and his cup runs over. I was attracted to him instantly purely for his love of my Lord Jesus.

But I faltered. Throughout our conversation, I do not think I came across eloquent, or confident, or attractive at all. I am completely clueless/ rusty at the whole flirting game. Well strictly speaking, I was not trying to flirt, though I was definitely trying to make more of an impression, and make myself appear more interesting and attractive. I was failing majorly as a woman seeking something more.

I guess I can say that I have “blown my chances” as the attraction certainly does not seem to be mutual.

Oh well. Pressing onward in my singleness. Chin up J.

It is all in God’s hands.

 

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