依然愛你

All those who know me will know that I absolutely adore Lee Hom. Mum and Dad hardly ever send me anything by post, but the one thing that is absolutely mandatory for them to send me each year is a copy of Lee Hom’s latest album. Excitement swelled when I found his newest disc in my mailbox a couple of weeks ago. I was having a particularly difficult time at work then, and it couldn’t have arrived at a better time. Listening to Lee Hom never fails to lift my spirits. His voice is so beautiful, his tunes always so haunting, his creativity so mind-blowing. I am ever thankful to God for blessing the world with such a talented man, who in turn blesses us with his wonderful gift of music. I have been captured by his music for a whopping 10 years now, and my adoration for him remains as bright a spark as it had been right at the start. How fitting it is then, that his newest song should be entitled 依然愛你.

我依然愛你 或許是 命中注定
多年之後 任何人都無法代替
那些時光 是我這一輩子最美好的
那些回憶 依然無法忘記

I was watching “the making of” his 依然愛你 music video on Wong Fu Production’s Youtube channel. The video is really a documentation of Philip and Wes’s first ever venture into directing a music video for Asia’s biggest superstar. It moved me to see how much hard work they’d put into producing the 5 minute long video. Their dedication towards their work and interest was truly inspiring… which naturally leads me on to think about what my passion is, and where my interests lie…

I remember that I used to be a sparky young girl full of enthusiasm for the performing arts. Acting was my main interest, and I loved being on centre-stage, soaking up the bright spotlight and basking in loud applause from the audience. I enjoyed memorising new lines, working on appropriate body language, rehearsing, rehearsing, rehearsing. Theatreworks was my first love. The time came, however, when I was no longer the preferred female lead. In the world around me, talented performers appeared to mushroom out from all directions. Auditions were no longer a breeze to me and I found myself being relegated to the backstage more and more. And then, University life came knocking. I moved away to a land where my accent stood out like a sore thumb, and I knew I would never get picked for roles for this very reason. I feared rejection, and foolishly walked away from my beloved theatre before it walked away from me. Our relationship ended there, but 我依然愛你。

Medicine then gobbled me up as if I was the most delicious dish on the menu. The last 7 years of my life have been dedicated towards learning and perfecting the art of doctoring. Being a doctor is great, you have skills that enable you to save others from the Grim Reaper’s claws, you can touch people’s lives and help make them better, you are respected for your knowledge and applauded for your work… However, despite the fact that I cannot see myself working as anything else but a doctor, I do often ponder if medicine truly is the reason I wake up every morning. I think the answer is resounding no.

What is my passion then? Art and craft? I used to enjoy creating beautiful pieces of work from raw materials and playing with colour and design. However, it is truly not my forte, and I have to admit that laziness has come between the two of us. Gone are the days when I would pick up my sketchbook and some crayons to draw beautiful pictures of the things around me. Gone are the days when I would paint glass, paint fabric, paint skin. Gone are the days when I would try making cards with plastic or parchment, or attempt to bead shoes and crochet bags. As I abandoned art, I think I accidentally abandoned creativity and imagination. I am sorry, please come back to me, 因為我依然愛你。

I am always full of admiration for people who pursue and perfect their first love. Lee Hom, Wong Fu, the Quest Crew… I have indulged myself in watching multiple videos of them on Youtube. I enjoy seeing them exuding the glow of joy and satisfaction as they show off their craft, and often wish that I could be doing the same too. I would prefer that 100 times more to being the stupid young lady who whiles her time away behind the computer watching other people lead their lives and fulfil their dreams. Yes seriously J, you need to wake up and start living your own life! Acting, singing, art… please don’t turn your back on them anymore. Let them co-exist with medicine: the current selfish occupier of all your time and energy. Live your dreams, so that you won’t grow old full of regret.

J

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