Your body is made for more

Over all these years, I don’t think I have really heard preaching on sexual immorality that is so clear and sound as this:

1 Corinthians 6:12-20

Do you use the CD drive on your computer as a cupholder? If so then you are going to put your cup of tea on it and break it. Do you use the computer mouse as a foot pedal? Then you will stand on it and break it. When you misunderstand what something is meant for then you are going to misuse it.

Similarly, if we misunderstand what our bodies are for- we will misuse it. At the root of sexual immorality is faulty thinking about our bodies.

(Sexual immorality= sex with someone or thinking about sex with someone who is not our spouse)

2 faulty philosophies

1. Indulging in desire= freedom

  • “I have the right to do anything” (v12)– this is often used to justify sex whenever and with whomever.
    • Saying that I should not have sex before marriage is depriving me of my freedom. Saying that I should not watch porn because I am married is denying me of my right to do what I want.
  • However, Paul wants to turn the issue of rights into an issue of “what is beneficial.”
  • Indulging in your desires can in fact cause you to lose your freedom (see below).

2. Sex is a bodily appetite.

  • “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food” (v13)– the reason we have stomachs is because we need food. It is natural and right for me to feed it. Similarly, (sexual) appetite is a bodily desire– it exists to be satisfied.
  • This view considers that the body is an animal and it needs feeding.
  • God is going to destroy the body eventually anyway.

BUT don’t have such a low view of your body. Don’t abuse and misuse it by enslaving it to appetites.

4 greater truths:

1.  Your body is for eternity, not just now.

  • Is your body like a non road-worthy car that is destined only for the scrapyard? Is your body therefore something that you can feel licensed to thrash because it is but a transitory shell? NO. By His power, God raised Jesus from the dead– and we will be raised also (v14). Jesus had a physical body after he was raised… he was not a ghost or a hologram. He was real. Jesus did not ditch his body at the resurrection and so neither will we. Your eternal future will be in a physical body… not just as a spirit. Your body will one day be raised. It is not disposable. So stop and think– what will you use your body for today?

2. Your body is Christ’s, not just yours.

  • v15 “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself?” All Christians are united in Jesus and become his physical body here on earth. He is the head and we are the body. You are a body part- a limb, an eye or a hand. Your body is part of Jesus’ body. When you misuse your body in sexual sin, you are misusing Christ’s body.
  • Sexual sin is serious, because it is about uniting 2 people. When a man and a woman have sex– it is a profound act of joining together as “2 will become 1 flesh.” When you have sex with a prostitute, you become joined to the prostitute. If you take what is joined to Jesus (i.e. yourself, as a body part of Jesus) and join it with a prostitute, then you are joining Jesus to a prostitute (or any other person you are tempted to get sexual gratification from)! You are taking Jesus into that person– can you see the perversity of that?!

So flee from it (v18).

  • Take active steps to go wholeheartedly in the opposite direction.
  • Fleeing is NOT going as far as you can but stopping short.
  • If you want to spend alone time together then do it in public. If you want to stay at home together then spend it with friends.
  • Fleeing is moving yourself and your laptop/ phone to a public space.
  • Fleeing is confessing a porn addiction to a friend.
  • Fleeing is moving away to another room from the married person you are tempted to flirt with. Fleeing is going home.

Flee because your body is meant for more.

But what is more?

3. Your body is a  temple, not a supermarket

  • Our bodies are not places for getting. You go to the supermarket to get. To get all that I need– to get what will fulfil me.
  • BUT no, our bodies are “temples of the Holy Spirit” (v19)– a place for giving. A temple is where God lives. It is a place of worship- where our best is given as an offering to God. A temple carries an amazing honour, dignity and reverence. Do not belittle your body.
  • Change the question of appetite to a question of worship.
  • Think: what is the best I can give as an act of worship? If you focus less on what you can get (i.e. how it will make you feel, how much you want it), and focus more on what you can give in order to honour God (v20)– you will not be sexually tempted as much.

4. Your body is free, not a slave.

  • If you subscribe to the 2 faulty philosophies (“I have a right to do anything” and “sex is but a bodily appetite”), they will make you a slave.
  • Surrendering to appetite and desires makes you a slave to desire, and a slave to the misuse of our bodies.
  • As a slave, you need to be bought. And that is what Jesus has done through his death and resurrection. He saved us from the teeth of desire. “You were bought with a price” (v20), so you are no longer your own- you are ransomed and can know true freedom.

Please see that the Christian view of sex is not about being prudish or restrictive or traditional. Instead, it is driven by a very very high view of what Jesus has done for us and what that means for our bodies. The bible does not say “stop having sex.” Instead, it says that the message of Jesus is good news for our bodies. Our bodies are honourable, glorious and liberated. Be joined to Jesus and be transformed so you can know real freedom from desire.


The gospel of Jesus makes a difference to your body.

It makes a difference to how you should view your body in the world of sex.

Believe that your body is for eternity- don’t use it for whatever you want now.

Believe that your body belongs to Jesus and is joined to him, so be careful who you join yourself to.

Flee if there is a risk of joining it to someone else.

Remember that your body is a temple- use it for worship.

Your body is free- flee from sexual immorality and do not be mastered by your appetites.

Your body is SO MUCH MORE.

Advertisements

Long overdue update

A lot has happened since my last blog post in August.

Too much, so here’s a quick summary in bullet points (as usual)

02/07/18. I set up an instagram account for my brush lettering! It will serve as a  safe space for me to keep track of my progress… with time, hopefully my account flourishes and my work gets acknowledged… some day, when my lettering skills have been honed and are much improved, I hope to sell my work.

19/08/18: Decided to take Holy Communion for the first time. This has been something that I have abstained from for the longest time… mainly because of teaching from the church of my childhood that we should abstain from the sacraments until we have “confirmed” our faith. For years I have let the bread and the wine pass by me… until I was challenged about it again by the pastor of my current church. Now, Christ Church doesn’t insist on people needing to attend catechism classes and publicly declaring their faith before we are encouraged to take communion… they teach that if you believe, you can and should receive. Recently, my pastor found that even after 9 years at CCL I have still not partaken in communion. He challenged me about it. He was clear that he did not want me to do anything that would sin against my conscience, but he also encouraged me to think about it more seriously. He wanted me to share in the joy and the commandment that is communion, even if I didn’t take it every time… he was keen that I partook in it. So after some deliberation, I realised that my hesitancy all boiled down to legalism. “I can’t do it because the other pastors said I shouldn’t.” But the bible doesn’t say no, does it?  Jesus’ disciples did not wait for a catechism class before they took communion. Am I following the bible’s words? Or am I blindly following the “laws” set by men? I decided that there was no TRUE biblical reason why I should not take communion as a believing Christian so I took the plunge. I ate the bread and drank the wine. And it was good.

20/08/18. Received some of the worst news I have had in my lifetime. Bad day. Tears. Sorrow. Desperation. More about this some other time…

Since then I have tried fasting and praying for the first time in my life. I fasted for 20 hours once a week. It has been an interesting experience. The hunger reminded me each time that I had to pray. And the fasting reminded me that “man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word…” It also kind of helped that fasting helps me to reduce my daily calorie intake… (though my weight didn’t really budge much- it has pretty much plateaued out, which is frustrating!)

12/09/18- 15/09/18. Went to the ESRA conference in Dublin. Killed SO MANY BIRDS with one stone. 1. Sat the EDRA part 1 (And passed!!! Woohoo. Scored 74.6%. Honestly, I didn’t think I would manage that at all as the exam was a lot harder than I had expected or prepared for, so I am very thankful!) 2. Attended the cadaver workshop and “all blocks in one go” US scanning workshop (They were so GOOD and useful. I learnt a lot of anatomy that I was unsure of/ didn’t learn in med school. Also, it felt so good to have experts who actually know what they are doing/ talking about teach me and answer my questions. I actually trust them when they tell me how to do infraclavicular blocks… versus at work, when I sometimes get the sense that some consultants are just “winging it” and don’t really know what they are talking about either… At these workshops, I was getting real experts who have sat the EDRA before and who practice thousands of blocks regularly hold my hand and say “hold the probe this way…” “look for the clavipectoral fascia…” The teaching was so good and well-worth the euros. Highly recommended!) 3. Did my first ORAL PRESENTATION at an INTERNATIONAL conference. Yep, another win for the CV! My free paper wasn’t nominated for competition, so I was pretty relaxed about it. There weren’t many people there (I think I presented to only about 15 people in a small room max), and there was no judging/ strict time-keeping. No difficult questions and the feedback on my work was really positive… so I was very pleased! 4. Visited the Republic of Ireland for the first time. Didn’t do a huge amount of sight-seeing as the conference was pretty much 8.30- 1700 or 1800 daily, but the couple of hours after “work” was pretty good (esp since the days are long in the summertime).

26/09/18. 25 weeker. 32 weeks corrected. Paracetamol OD. 5 times. milligrams confused with millilitres. Acetylcisteine. HDU. Apologies and duty of candour. 3 days terror. No sequelae. Now innovation for change. Let’s see how this goes. May be good for the CV and cons interview eventually as a “critical incident” to discuss. Department  supportive. SRob texted the next day “Hi Just checking you are ok. No one thinks any worse of you. Personally I would appoint you tomorrow!” Made up that my favourite consultant thinks this way.

Positive feedback. Been receiving some really lovely feedback from consultants. Especially SRob. I personally really like him and respect him as he is really good at his job and attentive to minusci. He’s the block guru and as you know I am interested in regional anaesthesia. Also, he is open-minded and not quite as resistant to change and innovation as some other people can be. I didn’t think he liked me very much the first couple of times I was at AH. However, since I have returned as a fellow he has been dead nice to me. He commented that I have become a lot better than when I was last at AH as a registrar. He has also said that he was pleased with my attention to detail. He still nitpicks at my work and sometimes “big-brothers” my anaesthetic charts (i.e. he would go to recovery and check on the quality of my anaesthetic record keeping for patients I have just delivered to recovery)… but he tells me that it is simply because “good is not good enough” and we need to aim for “perfection.” When I was chatting to some people about maybe taking on another fellowship after AH, SRob commented “don’t put ideas in her head… we have a department to run!” (basically saying that he was expecting that I would apply and contribute as a consultant at AH). And then there was that text that I shared above. When I last worked with him in MRI, he basically left me to see and sort the patients while he went to sit in a separate office within the MRI suite (this never happens!)– to me, that said a lot about how much he trusted me. And then there was feedback from the MRI staff that “he really likes you, and he thinks you are good.” All really lovely feedback. Besides SRob, there is also RishDi… who sat me down and told me that “every one of the fellows who wants a substantive job here next year will most likely be able to get a job (if you don’t f*ck up in the meantime).” With one of the fellows going to work in RMCH, and the another being a pre-CCT fellow… my conclusion was that RishDi was basically telling Hobbo and I that we are liked and people want us in the department. Most recently, I also got a message from my Ed supervisor saying that “you have a glowing consultant’s feedback.” All this feedback is so important to me. I want to write them all down so that I will remember them and let them prop me up in times when self-doubt fills my mind yet again… (which it often does).

 

 

Rough patch

Life has been really quite hard for me this August.

Things are not going smoothly and my stress levels are WAY up.

The Ikea furniture we attempted to buy for my room in July has been ordered and delivered all wrong. We told the salesperson we wanted a 3 door wardrobe with one of the doors being a mirrored door. He made a mistake and ordered 3 oak doors for us instead. Admittedly, we were also at some fault for not double-checking the order. I have tried to get on to Ikea’s case about resolving this mistake but they are not really responsive… I guess you can kind of see why…

Just started a new job which has been fine so far but it’s been challenging having to manage new colleagues and relationships with competitive people. There is also an expectation for me to do a ton of this and that “because you are a fellow now!” I have a lot on my mind and on my plate at the moment so I am really struggling with keeping up with the enthusiasm that other fellows are displaying.

Mum ended up in hospital for what sounded like a vasovagal after her procedure. I was so worried about her. And now we await the results… which is majorly anxiety-inducing– to the point of tears! I don’t actually want to talk about this cos it is seriously stressing me out… all I can say is that I really want to be home with them all now. I wish I wasn’t so far from my family… perhaps it really is time to return to the motherland for good.

I put on weight. After a nice streak of going down on the kilos, the weight is coming back again. Maybe part of it is muscle bulk, but I also clearly know the times when I have lost control. Take last night for example. I had 1000 calories left to eat at 8pm. I was 900 calories down by 10pm cos I could not stop my mouth craving more and more and more. My self discipline is abysmal.

I had my ALS recertification today, and believe it or not you can still fail your CAStest even when you are a post CCT anaesthetic fellow and resuscitation is the bread and butter of your everyday job. I actually had to resit the damned thing when the (clearly incompetent) nurse in my group passed it. Oh, and to add fuel to flame- 2 of my colleagues were the instructors who tested and failed me. I have also been denied instructor status. From the sound of it, that was largely because I gave some negative feedback to the above-mentioned nurse who completely balls’d up her scenario. They wanted me to provide more “balanced feedback”– but how the heck do you give good feedback when literally everything was done wrong? Am I expected to lie? In my opinion I was gentle in the way I gave the negative feedback, especially when she could hardly even get the words “PEA” out of her mouth and wanted to deliver a shock for this non-shockable rhythm. I am pretty upset, seeing as I was offered IP the last time and even went as far as completing the GIC. Now I have nothing.

There are more stressful stuff coming up: Monday for mum’s results, then the EDRA and the oral presentation, and completing the RPL before the end of October!

I really need strength! Dear Lord please be my fortress through these trials. Please give me peace. Please help me not to worry. Please lift me out of the pit. Please help this rough patch to pass as quickly as possible. Please help me to trust you.

Moving forward into a new era

I really resent myself for not writing for ages and then having to catch up on a load of updates… Here we go anyway…

Great set of nights

  • Experienced one of my best sets of nights on 4th-8th June. Lovely CT1 (good looking, competent, teachable, easy to talk to). Friendly and highly competent ODPs. Great scrub nurses.
  • We had food every night! I brought in some blondies on the 1st night shift. The consultant who was in on the 2nd night bought us pizzas. My SHO brought sweeties in the 3rd night. And we had a massive party on the final night– one of the ODPs specially went to get a load of cakes/ cupcakes for me (to say thank you for the blondies), one of the scrub nurses brought in home-cooked Chicken Adobo for the team on my cheeky request, and I brought in some home-made cinnamon rolls!
  • The nights were not too busy… just enough work to keep us busy but not bogged down.

Last shifts

  • My last accompanied list was with A. Houston. A good ol’ elective open AAA to be more precise! Managed to get the thoracic epidural in and it worked a treat for the patient! It was a lovely last list to be on…. I’ve always enjoyed working with A. Houston. He’s really relaxed, very cautious, easy to chat to, and looks pretty too!
  • My last night shift ended on the morning of 6th July 2018. It had been quite a lot busier earlier on in the week (think: 3 consecutive renal transplants on 1 night!), but that last shift was sweet. Slept most of the night and managed to have a normal Friday day time!
  • My very last shift was on 12th July 2018. Not an amazing on call long day to be fair. I can’t really remember too much, except that my very last patient was a severe COPD patient who had fallen and sustained a flail segment of fractured ribs and some bleeding. I waited 2 hours for the “blue light” ambulance to come and take us (anaesthetic escort) to the major trauma centre… only to have the paramedics arrive at 1920h… 10 minutes before the shift changeover… thankfully, they were happy to wait 10 minutes so I could handover and not need to make the trip out way past my finish time!

Resigning

  • So, as I approach the end of my specialist training, I have to send a letter of resignation to my employers… I have to admit that it was one of the strangest and scariest things I have had to do in a while. Resigning from a job and a programme that I have comfortably settled into for the last 7 years! I procrastinated and procrastinated but eventually penned something down. I have no idea how to write a letter of resignation, so this was my short and sweet email to the employer:

Applying to be entered on the specialist register

  • So, I did that today. Applied to the GMC to be entered onto the specialist register. Once on the register I can work as a consultant anaesthetist. Eeks! Paid £420 for this privilege.

I got published!

  • In the college bulletin this month. It felt great! Most of the messages have been congratulatory. Very pleased.

Brush lettering

  • I’ve been going a little over the top with my brush lettering expenses recently. I just want all the colours! My wallet sustained some serious damage when I went back to Singapore recently… especially since discovering a shop called Overjoyed on Short Street (right next to Rochor MRT station).
  • So far, I’ve purchased a couple of sets of Tombow dual brush pens (and other assorted pens from various brands), a range of embossing equipment (heat gun, embossing fluid and embossing powder), a light box, and all manner of smooth paper! I also purchased a bottle of masking fluid to experiment with… can’t wait to break into that and have a go too!
  • I’ve been practicing a lot recently whilst on holiday, and even started an instagram account to document my brush lettering journey. Quite honestly, I’ve accumulated so much paper that I really need to stop being a garang guni and start throwing things out. The social media account should hopefully allow me to keep digital records and also engage with other creators online!
  • I have in fact developed a bit of a curriculum for myself:
    • Basic word form drills (Kaitlin style, Modern style, flowy style…)
    • Lettering connections
    • Blending
    • Bouncy lettering
    • Flourishing
    • Learn to draw watercolour floral wreaths
    • Play: Masking fluid, embossing, foiling
    • More word forms/ font types (e.g. Spencerian, copperplate… traditional types)
  • At present, I am concurrently practicing bouncing and flourishing… It has been a lot of fun and I can’t wait to have more time and motivation to progress even more! The aim is hopefully to be able to open an Etsy shop selling my pieces online in the future.

Visiting Singapore

  • Really physically and emotionally burnt out recently, so this recent trip home was a necessity, despite the fact that I could only be home for about 9 days (because I needed to be back for my visa appointment, before the start of the new job with the new employer).
  • Managed to see KX for the first time in years! He needed me to return the army jacket that he gave to me about 14 years ago. It was nice to see him– the guy that had been the centre of my few real-life idol-drama moments (think rushing from the army camp, hopping on the sky train and running across the airport terminal to find me, hug me and say goodbye before I left for the UK. Also think: signing a “contract” that we would get married if we both remained single at age 32). Well, the contract is void now as KX is a happily married man who recently welcomed his third son. He’s knee-deep into being a family doctor and happy working in the polyclinics. It was really lovely to meet up with him again- so many years have past and so much has changed. Yet, he seems to be still exactly the same.
  • The newly renovated house is so nice! Some things didn’t turn out as good as it could have been but I would say it was an overall success and I’m very pleased with it! The house is so much brighter and cleaner, and despite the persistent presence of many boxes the house doesn’t look so cramped with crap. I love the new kitchen and the new rain shower in the bathroom! We went shopping for furniture and curtains when I was at home– it was stressful but necessary.
  • Bought a load of skin care. Totally obsessing over K-beauty recently… especially the brand COSRX. Now, I have a healthy stock of cleansers, toners, scrubs, masks, essences and creams. And I only have one face. Here’s trusting that I’ll be able to use up the products before they go past their expiry dates!
  • Spiculated nodule. Fuck you. Please be gone. Please. Dear Lord, please take it away. Please help me to trust you. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Visa

  • After coming back from Singapore, I have since attended my visa appointment on 27/7/18 at the premium service centre in Solihull (heck, these appointments are so hard to come by. There is a centre in my city but there were NO appointments FOR EVER). For £2999, I managed to get my visa application approved on the same day. Freaking expensive, but I guess it was worth it not having to surrender my passport and freedom to travel for 6 months! Just glad that these visa application sagas are now over and done with…

Neville

  • Sorry Neville, but I managed to scratch your butt (side actually) at the multi-storey car-park again. I hate multi-storey car parks! That was where you sustained your first and only other injury as well! I was trying to make a tight turn around the ramps and didn’t give myself enough space to turn (also, I was going in the opposite direction so I felt hurried to complete the turn before other cars came along). My heart aches for you Neville! Sorry!

Trump-Kim Summit

This is a historic moment. A handshake that the world never thought we would ever see. A meeting that may see the denuclearisation of North Korea and a promise of peace.

A few months ago, these 2 men were trading insults over twitter. One calling the other a “Dotard”, and the other name-calling his Korean counterpart “Rocketman.” North Korea was furiously testing their nuclear missiles, promising to reach North American shores with their nuclear weapons. The threat of a nuclear world war 3 was so real that even I got scared.

Yet somehow, something seems to have changed. Kim Jung Un is suddenly interested in negotiating peace. In a short space of time, he has announced the completion of his country’s nuclear testing. He dismantled one of NK’s major nuclear test sites. He met with South Korea’s president Moon Jae-In and even invited the latter to cross over the threshold into his country. He agreed to meet with his arch enemy Donald Trump.

This cruel dictator who surely has an endless list of humanitarian crimes under his name is suddenly becoming human. I don’t know why. I can only trust that this is my God at work in his heart.

God is surely at work. Perhaps it is for this moment in history– the meeting of the NK chairman and US president, that “the worst thing ever happened” 2 Novembers ago. Perhaps this is the reason God allowed Donald Trump to win the United States presidential race. It takes a mad man to subdue another mad man… perhaps this is God’s purpose in it all. After all, my God is the master at using the most awful of situations to his glory.

May this handshake truly mark the beginning of  the promise of peace… and perhaps even liberation and progress in the hermit state of North Korea.

P.s. This was set in sunny Singapore, at the Capella hotel in Sentosa. I am so pleased that our little country was able to play a part in setting the scene for this meeting. Admittedly, I was worried… “why did they have to choose us?” did cross my mind. I fretted over the security and safety of my family and fellow citizens. These 2 men are volatile, powerful, and surely have no lack of potential assassins. Will their combined presence disturb the peace in our placid little island? I should never have worried… Singapore did a wonderful job hosting. Our military and police men and women stepped up. We spent 20 million SGD as the price for peace, and in the process have gained so much more back in media exposure that will surely blow up our tourism trade. Well done, I am so proud of our sunny island.

The path of wickedness

Travelling along the path of the wicked is like riding a bike through a muddy path. It creates a track that makes it easier and easier for you to go along that path again and again.

The Holy Spirit infiltrates our hearts

So apparently, 阿姨 has sunk deeper and deeper into the depths of Buddhism. I mean, she has always taken a keen interest in the religion since I’ve known her- she spends incredible amounts of time at the temple, talks a lot about her work evangelising Buddhism, and has even made pilgrimages to India. However, she has taken her devotion to a different level this time– she has left her family home, shaved her head and become a nun.

To me, all these seem to be a form of escapism. To escape from the hurting that is her husband having another girlfriend, to escape from the grief that her eldest son has achieved very little in life, to escape from the pain of abandonment from her (now married) youngest son who has a child that she has to make “appointments” to see…

Buddhism teaches that there is value in detachment after all? If she detaches herself from these broken relationships and forsakes all her worldly cares, perhaps she will find some calm amidst the chaos? Life as it is now is too burdensome, so why not abandon it all and start over?

It grieves me to hear her story, and I know that it hurts my mum to see her sister on this road. However, I know that there is NO ONE so far from God that God cannot reach, or cannot love. He is bigger and better than we can ever imagine. God can reach even the most sinful of men- you only have to look at the wonderful story of Paul– the persecutor of Christians turned Apostle! I myself am sinful and desperately depraved– yet the Lord reached down to me and saved me too. No one is beyond reach, no heart is out-of-bounds to my God. And that includes my 阿姨. The Lord is more than able to touch her and heal her, to offer her a fount of living water so that she will never thirst again.

My God promises a wonderful marriage- one between Him and His people. A relationship that will satisfy all our human needs completely. A union in which He the groom is forever faithful. He will never leave us or forsake us. His promises are true and everlasting, and so mighty that they completely eclipse the sorrows of a broken marriage or the pain of abandonment that my aunt is suffering.

Oftentimes, we try so hard to protect our hearts from hurting. We put plasters on where the painful wounds are. Then we put layers of bandages over it. Knowing how fragile the heart is, we wrap it in bubble wrap thereafter. We cover it with newspaper, even nice wrapping paper to make it look better. Oh, and just in case anyone comes to steal it and stab it, let’s put it in a cage and lock it up as well. We cover our hearts with so many layers of “protection” that it seems hardened and impenetrable. Yet, my God is above all that. His light penetrates down to the deepest, darkest crevices in our hearts where the sun doesn’t shine. He peels off every single layer of the “fortress” that we have erected around our hearts. His spirit infiltrates to places in ourselves that we do not even know exists.

Psalm 139: 7-10

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.

My God is omnipresent and omipotent.

I trust that He can and will one day turn my aunt’s heart of stone into a heart of flesh.